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Rama-Prozor.Info • Vic dana

Vic dana

Thursday, 20.08.2020 Sir Prodaje Imoćanin sir na pijaci i dolazi gospođa.
Dobar dan, izvolite
- Koliko košta 1kg vašeg sira
Kaže Imoćanin 17,50kn
- Može meni onda 2,5kg sira
I računa tako Imoćanin 2,5x17,5 i izgubio se i upita gospođu, oprostite koliko je vas u kući?
- Kaže gospođa 4, zašto?
A na to će Imoćanim, života mi moga vama je dosta kilo sira.
Saturday, 18.07.2020 Baba i korona Došla baba doktoru i pita:
"Doktore, šta mislite dokle će jos trajati ova korona?“
A doktor će:"Ja vam to ne znam gospođo, pitajte ove u vladi, ja se ne bavim politikom.“
Wednesday, 03.06.2020 Mentor Sjedi zeko u šumi i nešto piše… Naiđe tuda jedna lisica i upita ga:
– Što to pišeš, zeko?.
– Doktorsku disertaciju! – odgovori on.
– A što ti je tema? – upita ga lisica.
– Kako oderati lisicu – odgovori zeko.
– Idiote jedan, kako se usuđuješ? – poviče lisica, uhvati zeku i odvuče ga u grmlje, iz kojeg se potom začuše krici.
Zeko potom izađe iz grmlja i nastavi pisati… Malo kasnije naiđe tuda i vuk.
– Što to pišeš? – upita vuk.
– Doktorsku disertaciju!
– A o čemu?
– Kako oderati vuka?
– Kako se usuđuješ – zaurla sada vuk, pa i on odvuče zeku u grmlje.
Ponovo su se čuli krici, a onda se sve umiri. Izađe zec iz grmlja, a sa njim i medo koji mu reče tapšući ga po ramenu:
– Jesi li vidio, zeko? Nije važno što ti je tema, važno je tko ti je mentor!
Thursday, 30.04.2020 Policajac sadi krumpir Kako policajac sadi krumpir?

Vreću sjemenskog krumpira iznese na njivu, izvuče pendrek i zagalami: "Razlaz"!
Friday, 28.02.2020 Korona

Kaže Fata:
''Mujo, hajmo reći raji da imamo koronu,
neka misle da smo bili u Italiiji...''
 

Saturday, 21.09.2019 Zeko i zmija Zec u šumi sreo zmiju pa joj se rugao što nema noge, a kad je pretjerao stane se izvinjavati:

„Izvini što sam ti se rugao, stvarno sam pretjerao!
„Ma, nema problema, sve OK“, odgovori zmija.
„Super, evo ruka“, uzvrati zec kao iz topa!
Friday, 20.09.2019 Perica i tata Perica pita tatu:

„Tata, jesi li se ti ikada zaljubio u učiteljicu u školi“?
„Jesam, sine, jednom“!
„I, kako si se tada osjećao“?
„Pa, u početku je bilo super, a onda je tvoja mama saznala i prebacila te u drugu školu“!
Thursday, 19.09.2019 Hitna Muji iznenada pozlilo pa reče Fati:

„Ženo, zovni hitnu“!
„Hoću Mujo, a koja ti je šifra od telefona“!?
„Ma, dobro sam sad, ne moraš zvati“, ispali Mujo kao iz topa!
Thursday, 08.08.2019 Mujo ribolovac Mujo došao na pecanje, postavio štapove i sjeo na stolac, kad nakon pola sata prolazi neki lik, stane i gleda. Nakon par minuta upita Muju:

- Već se dugo baviite pecanjem?

Mujo klimne:

- Jah, des' god'na...

Tip ne odustaje:

- I nije vam dosadno sjediti ovako sam kraj rijeke?

Mujo odmahne glavom:

- Jok, bolan... uvijek se nađe neka b'dala s glupim pitanjima...
Wednesday, 07.08.2019 Muž se žali ženi Muž se žali ženi:

- Onaj naš sin opet uzimao novac iz mog novčanika.

- Otkud znaš da nisam bila ja?

- Zato što on nešto i ostavi.
Tuesday, 06.08.2019 Mujo pita Hasu: Mujo pita Hasu:
• Bolan Haso, kojom ti rukom brišeš dupe posle nužde?
Haso:
• Desnom.
Mujo:
• E moj ti, ja brišem WC papirom.
Friday, 12.07.2019 Kupanje Došao Mujo u posjet brata u Njemačku.
Smjesti ga brat u luksuzni hotel i gleda Mujo kupatilo, jacuzzi, sve se sija pa kaže:
Eh što nije subota da se okupam!